December
There are a number of sad things going on in my life right now, relationships with my kid, stress over Christmas and other things. My heart has been heavy. December seems to always be a difficult month for me. But when I came here today, I could feel the presence of the Lord all around me so beautifully. I sang to him for a long time. And he had some beautiful things to say to me.
First, he called me his shiny one. Or maybe it was shining one or maybe both! Yes, that is who I am the shiny one, the shining one. Thank you Lord.
Secondly, as we walked along I felt the Lord say to me that he wanted to anoint me. Okay I am all for that! Ever since I read and studied Psalm 23 I have a deep love and appreciation of anointing. He asked me to kneel. So I did right in the little dirt path. I felt him poor the oil on my head actually even rub it into my head and then he said this is the oil the anointing of health. Of beauty. Of strength. Of peace. Of goodness. Wow! As I walked along with him later he said to me I have anointed you with myself. Double wow.
As we continue walking together I just felt like he wanted to hold my hand. So I reached out my hand and I could feel his hand in my hand How warm and good and all filled with power. So I sang my Abba Father song to him directly to him.
And he reminded me of who I am. I am his beloved beautiful daughter. And he has crowned me with glory and honor Oh so beautiful
As we were walking I was looking at the trees all these big trees with no leaves. And one of them has a big nest up in the branches. And all at once I realized I am a big tree and I have space and room and strength and love for a nest. I don't even know what that means I just know it's true.
Finally at one point in our walk, the Lord stopped me and he gave me the picture of Jesus holding Mary in their first encounter from the Chosen. And that he wanted to hold me like that. So I stepped into his embrace. I felt his arms of love and circle me. And pull me into him closer and closer. It was incredible.
Oh thank you father Thank you my abba father My father thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you. Bless you. I love you. Thank you
December
This morning I am exhausted and stressed. And I am here in my stillness walk, all focused on stress distress. But I'm thinking about the kingdom of God because I'm looking at the beautiful majestic Connie tree. And I hear the Lord saying to me, “I'm right here My kingdom of love is right here. All you have to do is step into it it's this one step the doors right. Here come in the door.”
December
Last week, I had some tension and stress with my dear husband. They resulted in me taking a tremendous emotional tumble into darkness. I struggled mightily with the temptation to quit everything music singing, writing, coaching, Airbnb and anything associated with all of that. But God restored me, thank you Lord! And I am back walking hand in hand with him. Today was my first day in a week taking my stillness walk with the Lord. It was wonderful to be back here with him. I'm writing a new song called The Kingdom of Love. As we were walking and I was singing this line, “come in the door,” he said, “YOU come in the door!” And it's true. I need to come to the kingdom of God. I need to step into his beautiful golden existence. Just as much as anybody else, I need this.
November
Today when I got in the car I sensed the Lord saying drive east. I know that sometimes I hear a message and it's not really God's message. I'm not sure what it is my own brain a movie I saw, a book I read. So I really prayed about this over and over and I heard over and over drive east. So I drove east on 62nd Wait no 64th towards the convention center. When I got to the convention center, the Lord said, turn in here, and drive around the back. And then I realized to drive around the back I really need to go back up that little road in back of the convention center. And I seem to sense him say to me yes go there instead That's where I want you to go. So I drove around the back and I thought well maybe he wants me to see something in the mountains. And as I drove along the little road I saw there was a little hill along the side. And I thought this is perfect. I can climb to the top of this little hill and see everything which I did. And I felt deeply as I looked over the city and the mountains and the land and the clouds in the sky, I felt deeply the desire to pray over the city and the thousands of people that were represented by the buildings right in front of me houses hotels apartments condos the convention center behind me and even the airport just a little ways away. And as I prayed I asked for God's glory and his kingdom and his light in his love to come down to fill to make this a hope flooded place. So that he can reach the crushed souls in recycle their pain in woundedness Yes. Yes yes yes. And then I said Lord sent me I'm here I'm ready Make me a part of this. I give myself to you in this. And then I sang my Abba Father song. But with new words instead of the words about me being a songbird, I said I am your messenger I am your ambassador I am your emissary sharing your sweet and beautiful words. And then I sang the fear song because I will tell you there is some fear accompanying my prayer. But I am not going to listen to it! I am not going to respond to it I'm going to step boldly wherever God has me step! Yes and Amen!
November
I am on my stillness walk and it's a beautiful afternoon. It is so quiet and calm. And empty. I only see a person or two here and there. I've been walking around looking at all the trees. And thinking about their form. Completely devoid of leaves. You can see what they really look like without the leaves. All those leaves are so beautiful and they fluff out the tree so wonderfully. It hides the shape of the tree. But when fall comes and then winter and the coldness turn the trees towards their winter state, the leaves are all gone and so you can see the true form of the tree. Wow! You can see where trees are misshapen You can see where the branches are mess a chaotic mess. You can see where the trees need to be trimmed where they need to be pruned where a group of trees need to be thinned out. Wow.
And this is in the garden of love and the kingdom of love. We live I live in the kingdom of love I am a tree in the kingdom of love. In fact God showed me that great big giant tree where he said look at this tree this is the kingdom of love. Today he said this tree is you. Oh is so beautiful and tall even shorn of its leaves. But down at the bottom there's just like this mess branches. And I I think how much I look at that mess of branches and I say oh what a mess I am instead of standing back and looking at the tree and how beautiful it is That's me the whole thing - not just that mess of branches. He wants to prune away those twisted messy dead curving down branches. So my tree can even grow stronger bigger taller more powerful and my branches all of them can reach up even higher and higher to God. That's why he allows us to see the true shape of our self through hardship and suffering. So we'll let him prune us.
Oh thank you father Thank you thank you father Thank you for showing this to me. All may I always be willing to be pruned.