Wednesday March 30, 2022
This morning I had a tremendous revelation from the Lord about the lack of supportive parenting in my life. For a long time now, it has been dogging me. And I’ve felt like I just can't do the life I want to do with such a gaping hole in the fabric of my being. And, actually, that might have some truth to it. But what the Lord showed me this morning is that this awful gaping hole, this destroyed foundation, this lack of a parent who showed any interest to help or support who I am is the story of most of the people with complex-PTSD*. Yes, I am just like them. I have what they have. They are my tribe. This thing that I think so disqualifies me actually qualifies me. This is my Carly story.**
But here on my stillness stroll, I've had another really good revelation. When you have complex-PTSD you need to go to extra lengths to protect yourself. You are extra vulnerable. Deep pain is easily triggered. Therefore, you cannot just casually expose yourself, your heart, your pain. Or even your hopes and dreams. It's not that people mean to crush you. It's that they feel a right to correct you, to point out your weaknesses. And that can be just too much for those of us who are still captive to the pain and trauma of an abusive childhood.
* Complex-PTSD is debilitating condition as a result of suffering chronic abuse throughout childhood. It affects every part of the developing child, physical, mental, emotional, relational and more. If you would like to learn more, click on this link: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd-and-complex-ptsd/complex-ptsd/
**If you would like to read this sweet story, click on this link. It will take you to the story on my website.